mother status

                     Well the mother status is supposed to be someone caring and raising I'm thinking that is wrong, i guess there are plenty off people in the world who would disagree but my experience says mothers should earn it as my mother has three children me and two others and she left years ago with me and didn't care about the others then left me with nothing while she did what she wanted she got money to feed me from my father but i didn't see none off it she kicked me out to sleep in a park and now iv been looking for her for a year found her a few times on net but she just changes her account but in the last few months iv needed her because i'm very unwell and just found out i cant have the one thing i no i would be good at and that is a mum see i cant have babies but after my life iv got so much to give i'm a believer of god sometimes but iv been praying for nearly 3 years to have a child but instead i get the new not for you so i don't get the chance to prove all mums cant be the same as my own. i found her again last night but wish i haven't as i found messages saying i was in the was a disruption an inconvenience and her calling another persons son hers when she doesn't even want us now my brothers don't seem to be bothered but i terribly need her i have no one to share my pain i don't understand what iv don't so bad someone in the world must be able to help or give me some sort of insight i'm going crazy.......